The Unseen Life Of A Firefighter

I have been a firefighter for almost two years now. There ain’t much that I have not seen yet. I’ve seen dozens of houses burnt to the ground, over a hundred cars mangled and destroyed, and yet I can still remember every call I have ever been on like it was yesterday. I suppose it is just one of those things that never leave your mind. Maybe it helps in future situations? Maybe it stays in your mind for a reason? I honestly can not answer these questions. Of course, though,  some tragedies and events are more significant and stand out more than others.

    For example, we were paged out for an oil spill in town one day. We put down absorbent pads, booms, and called the EPA in since it was going into the river. We were there for three or four hours, at the tops. That is all I remember about that incident. It was not very significant and did not really have an affect on me. With that being said, small fender benders and small fires are not really significant either, yet I still remember them. It’s bad to say, but significance is measurable by the amount of damage done. In that case, I wish nothing was significant. If only the world were a perfect place and there was no disaster and loss.   

    I believe that is the thing that people do not understand about firefighters; we ache and hurt just as much as the person we are helping out. Agreed, we do not show it, but our job is to comfort people in their worst. How comforting would we come off if we broke down and let it show how much something affected us in front of the person we are trying to be there for? I’m not going to lie, it affects you. I’m not the same person I was a year and a half ago. It is impossible to not let it affect you. We see people lose absolutely everything they have. How are you supposed to just “let it go”? Speaking for myself, I have spent countless hours not being able to sleep, balling my eyes out thinking about all of it. It’s just one of those “part of the job” kind of things I guess though. There ain’t really nothing to do about it. There is always going to be more tragedies, and more fires, and more wrecks, and all I can do is put up a strong front and comfort and assist in any way possible. That’s the life of a firefighter though.